Shame on you if the only time you think about networking is when you need something. Networking isn't just standing around cocktail hour and exchanging business cards. It's about finding people you can learn from and help.

You can network everywhere -- the grocery store, at a ballgame, at the hairdresser or even at work. If you're not meeting new people and networking all the time, you're not doing it right.

Networking doesn't have to be painful -- even if you're shy or feel awkward approaching strangers. Armed with a few effective strategies, you'll be ready to tap more resources to more your career forward.

1. Be clear on your goals.

Whether you're looking for a new job or hoping to make new business clients, you have to be focused and understand what you want to achieve before you pick up the phone.

Develop a strategy for achieving your goal. Whom you tap to talk will depend on your objectives.

"Network strategically," says Lillian Bjorseth, a corporate trainer and author of Breakthrough Networking: Building Relationships that Last. "You have to know the target people in the market before you can network."

Develop a verbal business card to introduce yourself in 10 seconds, says Bjorseth. Use active verbs to describe what you do:

• Don't say: I'm in IT.
• Do say: I help workers understand their computer software.

Be assertive, but respectful when you talk to your network. Learn to make a request, rather than just expecting and demanding help.

"Don't beat around the bush or expect people to know intuitively what you want," says Donna Fisher, author of Professional Networking for Dummies.

2. Ask for business cards.

If you're handing your card indiscriminately to people, it's likely to land in the trash and not produce a worthwhile lead.

Don't just hand your card to someone. Take time to learn a little about the person to whom you're talking, Bjorseth says. Then, ask him or her for a card.

Read the card and ask questions about the organization and job. Most likely, you'll establish a connection and the other person will then ask for your business card.

And, you'll be more likely to have made a positive impression.

3. Create opportunities.

You never know when you'll meet a new contact. Instead of sitting back and waiting for opportunities to come your way, be aware of what you need and how you can get it.

"Be willing to create opportunities for conversation," Fisher says. "Always introduce yourself. Acknowledge people with eye contact, smiles and nods."

Get out of your comfort zone, says Andrea Neirenberg who runs a management training company. Join meetings, attend industry events and meet co-workers in other departments. Work on meeting new people and expanding your network.

If you're reconnected with someone you haven't talked to in a while, don't just expect the contact to pull out a Rolodex to help with the job search. Instead, ask the person what he or she has been doing and re-establish a relationship before asking for help, Fisher says.

4. Learn to listen.

If you are listening to what others are saying, you're more likely to find a common interest. Every time you meet someone, you can learn something. When you develop a rapport, then the doors open, says Nierenberg, who wrote Nonstop Networking: How to Improve Your Life, Luck and Career.

Ask open-ended questions:

• I'm thinking of joining this organization. What do you like about it?
• How did you get in this field?
• What are the latest trends in this field?

"People are yearning to be heard," Fisher says. "If people experience a trust and connection with you, they are more likely to give you information."

And, people like to do business and hire people they know and trust.

5. Follow up.

Don't get lazy once you've used your contact. "If you can't follow up, why would I want you in my network?" Bjorseth asks.

Follow up within 24-48 hours. Return every phone call and send hand-written notes when appropriate.

Don't hand your resume out at a networking event, Bjorseth says. You're taking away a chance to follow up with that person.

Find ways to keep in touch with your new contact to stay on the radar. Send articles about the industry or areas of interest to that person, Nierenberg says.

Networking is a way of life -- not something you tap as needed. Nurture and cultivate your network.

Elizabeth McKinley is a freelance journalist who writes about careers and workplace issues. E-mail her at elizmckinley@yahoo.com